How some of our readers found love

On this day of the heart, we pass along the results of a recent poll for which we asked where you and your partner met. The responses suggest love doesn’t need to venture far to find a home.

More than one-third, a full 35% of respondents, said they met on the Island, and in most cases, those relationships are still active, hopefully going strong.

One-quarter of respondents (24%) said they met far away from the Island, and one in five (19%) said they met online, which mirrors national statistics, although the dating sites suggest that number is closer to 35% or even higher.

We’re not using real names, but we are printing emailed responses more or less verbatim, having cleaned up only minor grammatical concerns.

When love strikes

Love takes various forms and gets ahold of us in various ways, from having your future hubby hurl chestnuts at you and your friends to moving in together after a hurricane destroys your home, to just making the best of things while waiting for a flight, as Chugar did: “We met in the Toronto airport while storm stayed for almost two days.”

Jen’s email was beautiful for its arc and simplicity. She says she met her love at the “Pleasant Valley dance hall, in 1967. Married in 1968, he died in 2019. A long, wonderful life together!”

On the Island

‍More than one-third of our poll’s participants said they met their spouse right here on the Island, including this reader: “Our first encounter was in Grade 6 at Cloverdale Elementary School! I wouldn't say it was love at first sight—he and his friends liked to toss chestnuts at my friends and me are our way home from school. Fast forward and here we are still in love and married for 37 years this year!!”

Of the many who met here on the Island, Dirg’s lasting love affair began “In the Old Forge Night Club... at the Strathcona Hotel, 40 years ago.”

Meanwhile, Jennie found hers a few blocks away. “We met at Ocean Island Backpackers Inn—the super funky hostel at the corner of Blanshard and Pandora!”

Sophie had a sopping-wet escapade saved by a chivalrous young man who returned the umbrella she had left on the bus. “Then one day he asked me out and 48 years later, we are still together (although we did separate at least three times in earlier years of the relationship).”

That Hollies’ Bus Stop affair was one of many tales of young love that has lasted. Bri offered this: “High school. Him. Gr 10, myself Gr 9,” while Donna did that two grades better: “We met at school in grade seven!”

Tom got it right, right away, too, writing: “High school sweethearts.”

‍ Love grows wherever you go

As beautiful as Victoria is, love birds fly around and meet in other parts of the world. To that end, 24% of poll respondents were in other places when they found their better halves, such as this reader.

“We were both living in LA at the time and actually met online in the early 1990s before it was really a ‘thing’. Been together since 1994 and married since 2013 ❤️”

Grace had an interesting professional relationship that began at work and ended at home, years later: “I was applying for a teaching job at a girls' private school in Winnipeg. Interviewing me was a man I developed a crush on. I got the job. Years later, I applied for a job in a public school, and guess who the interviewer was? He was now an administrator in the public school system and needed a teacher. He hired me two more times as his professional needs developed and as our friendship also blossomed into a romantic one, he finally proposed a more permanent relationship with a diamond ring. We've been married 25 years and are now happily retired in Victoria.”

R and Di had this collective note that’s stands out: “I sailed from Friday Harbor back to Canada with my husband-at-the-time, a yacht designer who loves classic boats. So he brought me and our 4-year-old son to observe another classic sailboat under construction in Victoria. That was it! The husbands introduced us, and we 2 women have been together for over 40 years now, having raised 4 children, and are delighted to enjoy 3 lovely grandchildren. Of course, we had to join the successful fight for Equal Marriage in 2000-2006.”

Meantime, Maggie’s man-to-be was knocking at her door:

“My husband was selling magazines door to door at 20 years old in 2007, from Saskatoon. He knocked on my door and sold me a woman’s fitness magazine! He asked me what I was doing that night, and if I was celebrating 420 haha. I said yes! Then we went out and had a long-distance relationship for a while, talked on the phone constantly and really got to know each other that way. After a year of this, he decided to move here at the end of 2007. I surprised him by flying out to Saskatoon (my first time in another province)! We drove back to Victoria in December with lots of snow! We got an apartment near downtown. It’s been 17 years now! No one meets so randomly anymore, and I’m glad I never had to do online dating!!

Sometimes love flies in surprising ways, as it did with Ehn: “I was dating a pilot that worked at Resolute Bay NWT—the magnetic North Pole. I flew up there for Christmas. I fell in love with another pilot that worked there. We have been married 40 years.”

And sometimes it comes with flashing lights, as it did with Maddie: “He stopped me for speeding... he was RCMP and he didn’t give me the ticket!!! A few months later, we ran into each other again. He asked me out. I stood him up. The next night I witnessed an accident… he was the Mountie who arrived… so after I asked him to stand me up… he didn’t… 7 days later he asked me to marry him… I said yes, no, maybe... & here we are 45 years later!!!”

Badey’s love started up in the air, and it hasn’t come down yet: “39 years ago this cowboy from Calgary walked into this gay bar that I managed in Toronto, after a few drinks and a lot of flirtation he picked me up… and started tossing me into the air, holding me by my waist full up in the air until I demanded he put me down, then he stole my necktie and stuck it in his pocket and said I couldn’t have it back unless I took him home with me, well I loved that tie, and here we are, 38 years later still together but now retired and enjoying such a beautiful life in such a beautiful city. And who said same-sex couples don’t last.”

In some cases, as it was with KS, love starts with, OMG, a lie: “50 years ago at a house party, my husband gatecrashed with a group of friends in New Zealand. In the 50 years we have been together that is the only dishonest thing he has ever done that I'm aware of :) He pretended to be on the NZ field hockey team who had just won Olympic gold. Luckily for me, the host was impressed and allowed the group entry believing the story. Life would be much different for me had this not happened so I'm forever grateful for the fabrication."

Lou says it’s not just the guys who tell little white lies that lead to love. He says he met his wife at a high school party, and let her drive his car.

“I should have known something wasn't right with her driving skills because we spun out the entire way to her house. It was a winter evening and the streets were slick. As we approached her house, she did a donut on the street and we ended up in a snow bank on her neighbour's front yard. Nothing was broken and I walked her to her doorstep, where I learned she didn't have her driver's licence. This year will be our 47th wedding anniversary.”

‍ And then there’s online dating

Online dating is fraught with the uneasiness of meetings that feel like job interviews, expensive monthly website bills, and of course, the ghosting, but it remains a top way to meet people.

Wabbit says her relationship started online using Plenty of Fish 11 years ago and the two now approach 12 years together.

But another reader who used a dating website had mixed results: “Met on POF and it was a lucky connection. I would NEVER do it again. There are too many singles out there that are obviously a few fries short of a happy meal.”

But there are success stories from the online dating world. Mopp wrote: “On our first date, he fell in love with Sidney where I live, and is moving from Nanoose Bay as we are now engaged to be married in June.”

Jerry says he met his “wife in Tofino at the Maquinna hotel which was owned by her parents—1969.”

And then you have Gio, who managed to hurdle three large dating impediments: an online meetup that blossomed into a long-distance relationship, during COVID. Yikes.

“We met on Tinder. It took her a few weeks to accept my "swipe". We met downtown one night, met again the following day and the next. Then she went back to her home country. 3 years later, a lot of flights back and forth so we could see each other and a pandemic in the mix, she landed in Canada and here we are. Online dating works lol. Long distance relationship worked - but it sucks.”

‍ Yes, we should have given the options “at work” or “at school”

Several readers wondered why we didn’t have an “at work” or “at school” category.

Katie was among several who wrote they met their partner “At our workplace.”

Jen for example, met her beau “In Colorado when we both worked at the same job. ("At Work" or "At School" are relatively common answers to this question, why didn't you give those options??)”

Eli went old-school and it worked: “We originally met through friends in our early 20s. We hooked up then, but it wasn't meant to be at the time. We lost contact. Over the years we both moved away from Victoria but we both moved back. One day in late 2019, I happened to walk into his store, we hadn't seen each other in about 15 years. He recognized me right away and called out my name. We had a quick chat, I gave him my number. We started dating just before the start of the pandemic. We got married summer of 2022.”

Sometimes geography helps, as was the case for Marnie, who lives near YYJ.

“On our first date, he fell in love with Sidney where I live, and is moving from Nanoose Bay as we are now engaged to be married in June.”

Sometimes drinks help, as Flash writes:

“A friend asked me ‘If you could have any man in this bar, who would it be?’ I looked around and saw him standing there and I said it would be him. He later asked me to dance and then dropped me off at home and asked to see me again, I said yes, 4 months later we were living together and that was 1987!”

Love can arrive in disguise, and needs time to be unveiled, as was the case with Susie: “Our first encounter was in Grade 6 at Cloverdale Elementary School! I wouldn't say it was love at first sight—he and his friends liked [to] toss chestnuts at my friends and me [on] our way home from school. Fast forward and here we are still in love and married for 37 years this year!!”

Mike’s experience shows it pays to be flexible and willing to adjust. “I was set up on a blind date, only she was more interested in my friend. My best friend's sister was there and we started talking. 44 years later and we are still together.❤️”

Jules had this to say about why they’re not in a relationship at the moment: “2 marriages and 2 cheaters. Never again.”

But JC held out hope for all those whose hearts await. “No relationship as of yet. But this is my second chapter, so I hope soon.”